Dave Chalk

Dave ... what can I say about Dave? I've known Dave for a couple months now but I still know very little about him. I feel like Dave listens to me complain a lot, and I am sorry for that. From school work to ex-boyfriends, I make him listen.

I have been in the habit, lately, of complaining a lot and its something that I need to cut out of my life, but Dave makes it so stinking easy to complain when he offers to listen anytime.

I can't help but wonder what he has planned for all the complaints and thoughts I've shared with him. I can see it, years from now, when I've married my rich man--we've talked about this, Dave and I have--and he black mails me for something I told him all those years ago.

Oh gee. I guess this is good incentive to stop complaining. Thank you, Dave.

Memories ...

Jumping as the leaves fall and you fall into the leaves. I jump and the air is cold. The springs squeak and the material stretches. We laugh as we bounce each other on the trampoline. The air grows colder. Suddenly its dark. We are called to come in. I smell the fall before I enter. The wind blows. The leaves blow, around me. I throw my arms out, I feel the fall, just as a child would.

I'm remembering. My hands are on the steering wheel and tears come to my eyes. "Fall in Maryland," its whats on my mind. More importantly, fall with my family. I'm alone in the car, just remembering and the music is drowned out by my feelings.

I love to play nostalgic memories through my mind but so often the feelings of the memory eludes me.

It seemed for once I could feel it, just as though I were there. I look out the window of my car, toward the sky and I smile at God. I am thankful for the memories that I don't just remember but the memories that I feel.

Are my ears bleeding?

There's been this constant rhythm in my health life lately: Nausea, headache, jaw tension, ear congestion, tired, dizzy. I thought I was going crazy, I though there were too many things wrong with me, I must be a hypochondriac -- I am, but only a little. And then, yesterday, I was swimming.

"Can you reach the bottom," my boyfriend, Brandon, asked me. Of course I could swim down to the bottom of a pool that was only ten feet deep. I was Kaitlin Prettyman, I could do anything. But lately, that hasn't been the Kaitlin I have always been so familiar with.

The dizziness throws off my balance and I no longer volunteer to climb trees and rescue the neighbors cat, I no longer swing, I no longer jump off of cliffs into the water and I no longer volunteer to be a dare devil.

So, when Brandon posed this question, directly after I swam across the pool in one breath (I might mention that he couldn't do this), I was on an adventure high--it doesn't take much with me.

I initially tried and came sputtering up seconds later. My ears hurt after going just four feet under. My ears hurt just the way they did when we went cliff jumping into a lake the month before. I remember them hurting because he kept asking me to jump from higher heights and I wouldn't because my ears hurt so stinking much.

Well, he told me, this time, to try exhaling with my mouth and nose plugged. He said this would pop my ears and I would be able to go further down. Normally he would be right; this trick would work.

It didn't work this time. I came up almost screaming. I went down four feet, tried the trick and it immediately felt like someone had stuck a knife in each of my ears.

I grabbed onto the side of the pool and held my ears. "Brandon," I said moments later, "Is there blood coming out of my ears?"

There wasn't but for hours my ears hurt.

I think I have found the cause of my problems. I called my mother that night--she's a nurse--because I was afraid of losing my hearing or having brain damage--thanks Brandon for sticking these ideas in my head.

My mother told me its not something thats a huge issue but I should get it checked out; it could be that my problems are stemming from my jaw or from an ear problem. Guess I will find out when I get around to making an appointment.

Black skin, white skin, brown skin, what skin?

"Why is the Republican Party basically poison for so many African Americans?"
Cain replied, "Because many African Americans have been brainwashed into not being open minded, not even considering a conservative point of view."

"A lot of these liberal, leftist folk in this country, that are black, they're more racist than the white people that they're claiming to be racist," Cain said Tuesday in a radio interview on the conservative Neal Boortz talk show.

I think I like Herman Cain because he's said what I've wanted to say for years. Growing up in Maryland, I had to deal with racism, as a white girl.

My first best friend was black and did I care? No, I didn't even notice. I didn't notice race until race was brought up. In elementary and middle school, I never looked at the "black" people any differently than the "white." As a matter of fact, I didn't even notice until high school. The black people would sit at their own table, sit at the back of the bus, the black people segregated themselves from the white, it was not done the other way.

Working at the gynecology office, right outside of D.C. (upper Marlboro area) I worked solely with black people. I was the minority. The doctors at the office were black, the nurses were black and most of the patients were black.

Did I care? No.

But the patients did, I guess. Sometimes I would get comments like, "I don't want to talk to you, where is the other receptionist [a black woman named Doris]?"

Some times they wouldn't talk to me on the phone because they could tell I was white or they wouldn't look at me when they check out. I even had them go so far as to ignore me when going to schedule a follow up appointment and look at Doris for assistance, even though she was on the other side of the room filing something and I was acting as receptionist.

Of course, living in Utah, which is mostly full of whites and hispanics, has given me a view into a whole other perspective. While sitting at lunch with some classmates they began to address the issue of race. They were intrigued that one of my white classmates had dated a black man. One classmate even went as far to say, "I don't date people that aren't my skin color."

I was not accustomed to such conversation but some of the people seated at lunch with me had never even conversed with someone black. I don't even think they knew that what they were saying would get them in a lot of trouble if they were saying it back in my home town.

Religion vs. Politics? Religion or politics? Religion + politics? Religion ... politics ...

I thought these two articles, one from the Washington Post and the other from a popular blog, sum up the whole issue of religion and politics. If you think about things rationally and logically, then its really not hard to understand why a political candidates religious beliefs are and aren't important when it comes to politics.

"As I wrote then, if you want to know where a candidate stands on same-sex marriage or domestic partnerships, fire away. But skip seeking a candidate’s interpretation of the Scriptures on homosexuality," Colbert I King, in his column for the Washington Post.

A lot of people will say "who cares" what their religious beliefs are and others will say that everything depends on their religious beliefs.

But it seems like Romney is drawing a lot of fire because he's a Mormon. I think its mostly because people have misconstrued or false ideas about his faith but I can't help but wonder why it should matter, when what we're really looking for is someone to save our economy. Honestly, thats what take precedence in my eyes. At the moment, I am not too worried about their stance on abortion, homosexuality or anything else.

I want someone to get in and fix the financial state of our country but I know its not that easy, when it comes to picking someone who will run our country.

I believe that we do need someone who has a belief in God. As our constitution and all the other things that our countries foundation stands upon are surrounded by God.

But of course, we must look a little deeper than that. The important question to ask is, "How will their religious affiliation is associated with their beliefs on issues?"

So, like I Colbert said in the beginning. We should be focusing on what their focus is in regards to same-sex marriage and domestic partnerships. But, I don't think focusing on how often they pray, whether they attend church regularly or if they where is garments is important.

How are those questions applicable? It would be like me asking what they eat for breakfast and whether they wear boxer or briefs.

Lets focus on whats important. Keeping our Country alive and united.

"People sometimes hold themselves back because they want to use racism as an excuse for them not being able to achieve what they want to achieve." Herman Cain

Deleting the undeletable

I see him, he sees me but neither of us knows that we're looking at the other. And I see the girl he's with, she's beautiful. I can't help but wonder "How dare he move on?" But then again, the man I'm pictured with is a hottie and so maybe he's thinking the same. But, wait, why does it matter? Why aren't we moving on?

Where am I viewing these pictures of my ex-boyfriend and his current lover? Facebook. Apparently Facebook jealousy is an issue. Funny how this social network can have such extreme effects on some and not others. Psychology Today, PsychCentral, Discovery News, MSNBC and other websites all referenced the increase in Facebook jealousy.

Of course their citation was mostly in regards to relationships. I have given into those kind of jealous moments while on Facebook but thats not my problem. I, occasionally, give into a little Facebook jealousy, a little Facebook resentment.

I see that my best friend is happily married, I see that an old friends is an amazing photographer, I see so many wonderful things about people and I find myself resenting them.

Mine really isn't about my relationship or ex-boyfriends though. I find myself resenting people for their happiness and I wonder why I've suddenly become like this.

Tell me, what is Facebook?

For so many people its a great way to build networks, make connections with people, plan events, and market. When I say market, I mean market yourself.

Why do we post pictures? Why do we tell everyone what we ate for breakfast? Why do I need to show everyone a picture every time I so much as scratch my butt. We love attention. Actually, we love positive attention. I find myself thinking that Facebook is a way of getting attention, making sure people don't forget us. And after a while that need to be seen, it transforms It becomes more than just a way to share your life with others. It becomes a means for people to resent us, to be jealous and we find ourselves liking the idea of that.

I admit. I've succumbed. I look at people's talents, people's accomplishments, people's smiling photos and I can't help but wish I had what they had and then I can't help but hate them--only a tinny, tiny little bit--for having what I can't.

I sit here and I strongly consider deleting this social network but not just because I'm turning into a embittered woman. But I won't delete it. I'm just restricting myself from getting on it, ever. I'll simply use email to check messages and such.

Its time consuming, it gives me the ability to stalk people that I don't need to be stalking. WASTE. I feel that its a waste. In my opinion it fosters hate, prevent healing from a relationship.

For many, its not a problem. But for others, it is. I've avoided deleting it because I don't want to lose contact with people but ... alas ... I think I will do away with this networking system that has nurtured the beast in me.

If those people want to get in contact with me, they will find a way and I will do the same.

That is all.

kprettywoman@yahoo.com

Fresh, innovative thoughts

Do those exist? Maybe. This is a fresh idea about how there may be no more worthwhile fresh, innovative thoughts. The end.

Going to prison

Ever been to prison? Me either. I would like to do some research there though. I have this idea. Introverts- people who look inward rather than outward. I think that introverts account for the population of violent prisoners than extroverts.

I want to design a questionnaire/survey that further investigates this theory. But, I don't just want to do a survey. I want to make this relevant to the world.

I want people to think about why they are introverts? Why there friends are introverts? Their children? Their relatives? What makes someone one extreme or the other? Of course, research says that most people fall in between the two, an almost perfect balance.

I don't believe this of prisoners, I don't believe this of more cynical, violent people. I think prisoners will greatly favor one side over the other and I'm willing to bet that introverts will be the all encompassing winner.

And then I want to take these facts, this quantitative research and do some qualitative. I want to do interviews with the prisoners. I want to find out why they are introverts, why they favor looking in rather than out. Do they feel like they can work on this perspective? Do they feel they can reach a balance.

What are your thoughts? Do you think my research would be worthwhile? Or does it not really have a place in the world at this time? Hmmmm, I'll let you decide. Leave me a comment.

Jobs

I didn't know what Apple was until I started the second semester of my freshman year in college. I had seen a few Apple products before that, but I had no idea of what amazing things had been denied me for so many years.

I didn't know what I wanted to say about Steve Jobs. I don't really know much about Steve Jobs. I know that this man brought some amazing technology advancements to our world.

But, what else do I know about Steve Jobs? I googled him. Wikipedia didn't say too much. I read a lot about his illness, about his contributions but I still didn't know WHO Steve Jobs was.

What kind of man was he? I still have no idea. But I know this, from all the posts, all the news updates ... I know that he was a phenomenal man.

It amazes me that a man who was worth billions, wasn't invincible. He died before he reached sixty. I guess it proves that no one is invincible. Patrick Swayze wasn't when he died two years ago from the same cancer. I wonder if the two ever met? Shared cancer stories?

All the money in the world can't save us from the inevitability of death. But I guess the main thing to focus on here is not the death of Steve Jobs but his contribution he had on society.

I know he gave us the ipod, the iphone the Mac computers but what else has he done? I don't know but his contributions to technology seem to be enough because all I know is that he changed my life.

Lets end it with your hand on my butt ... not.

A spit on the hand, a smack on the butt, a hug, a handshake, a smooch, a water balloon, a sarcastic comment, a high five, in a closet ... how should you end a first date, second date ... ?

I've had all the things I listed above happen at the end of a first date, except the hand spitting because if someone did that to me at the end of a first date, I'd be in jail for attempted murder.

Have you ever had a guy smack your butt at the end of a first date? Yep, I have. He was a total redneck. Honestly, it was hot at first because he was 6'3" with a good body and a forward personality but with that smack on the butt came a really old fashioned perspective on a woman's place in the world. I found out that this guy wanted to live out in the middle of nowhere, on a ranch and with a wife who would birth his babies, clean his house and cook his food. Please!

I've also ended a date in a closet. Weird. He wanted to make out in there, where they kept the hymn books and sacrament bread. Weirder. No worries, I said "no." I said to "no" to making out with this guy for 3 months and eventually said yes and then he broke my heart. I should've just walked away after the closet scene.

Anyway, back to my point. I don't think that this is the appropriate way to end a date. When it comes to a date, try doing it the right way at the end because thats what leaves the best impression, unless you don't want to leave an impression.

I guess it depends on how you know the person, what date number you are on and what you did for the date. But, lets just look at the first date.

Kiss - This has always been discouraged. I've done it but the relationship never went beyond kissing. So, maybe thats not the smartest way to end a date, no matter how thrilling and scintillating it may make things ... mmmmm there were some dates that ended this way and it was good times.

Hand shake - When a guy shakes my hand at the end of a date, all I hear is "you're revolting, I won't wrap my arms around you because you're diseased." Give me a handshake and I probably won't give you a second date. I give second dates when I know there is chemistry.

But there are exceptions to this. There are some hand shakes that have potential for future dates. I'm talking about the handshakes that seem to go on forever, with lots of implied meaning.

And, of course, I've initiated the handshake myself. I've only had to do this on blind dates or first meeting dates. Some of those guys were revolting (I intend no offense, but then again for some of them, I do).

But we're talking about guys with super chapped lips, body odor, The Penguin (Batman) characteristics, cleavage eyes and/or a revolting sexual sense of humor that gives me the willies.

High five - You give me a high five and I'll friend zone you for life. What are you? My basketball buddy? Lamo.

What have been your "end of date experiences?"