Wailing sessions prevent insanity

Sometimes I yell at people that aren’t there and other times I find myself hating person sitting next to me because he is sitting next to me. I do things for no reason, weird things, rude things. Some people have accused me of being crazy but I like to use a better term, a more professional term to describe the randomness that is me and that may be you too.



Insanity, that is the word that describe the new developments that are me. I have recently wondered why this word has played such a big and important role in my life. Why do I burst into song on a crowded subway? Why do I dance on my desk, in the middle of class? Why do I insist that the most poignant conversations I have are with my cat? It has to be because I am certifiably insane and I wondered how it could happen so quickly and so thoroughly? 



The reason is tears. I don’t cry, I haven’t cried in years. This has led me to believe that the reason for these bouts of insanity are from the tears I have held back since tenth grade and I am now a sophomore in college. According to studies done at the University of Arizona College of science it is a proven fact that 7% of the people admitted insane asylums are insane because they either lack the ability to cry or choose not to. Of this 7 percent of insane people 93 percent have been returned to sanity by a good wailing session.



The first to see results from a wailing session with her therapist is Mary Chaplin who said; “My psychiatrist told my mother had passed away in a car accident the night before and the next thing I knew I was on the floor, sobbing like a baby with a dirty diaper.”



Mary, a 33-year-old mother, was admitted to the asylum in Sept. 1999 after digging up her dead dog and taking it for walks, or more like dragging it for walks. Mary also would direct traffic in her living room and often would climb trees, insisting that her cat needed rescuing even though Mary had no cat. 



“I hadn’t cried for years, the tears would just never come. I didn’t know that the death of my mother would be the end of my insanity,” Mary said. 



Of course Mary’s mother was actually not dead but her psychiatrist decided to try out a hunch that she had thought of while she was crying over her headless bird Peaty, who had been decapitated by her brother when she was a little girl. She didn’t know that crying had saved her from a life of insanity and she didn’t know it would save the life of a woman who had spent nine years of her life inside a padded room.

Of course this is all a lie but I believe that an occasional cry can solve a lot of mental conditions. So for those of us who haven’t cried in years maybe we should get together sometime and have one of our own wailing sessions.