What love really takes...or something

I think since it’s almost Valentine’s day that I have every right to write a love column, right? Seeming to have no romantic inclinations means that I should be allowed to write this column. But despite popular belief, I am a romantic and I have many romantic inclinations…*wink wink* *nudge nudge*.

I have even fallen into what some would consider love. But our idea of love, in terms of relationships between a man and woman—you know the kind that leads to….well other things.

But there’s more than one type of love. When you’re talking to your friend and you say, “I really love my boss,” does that mean you want to have their babies? No, it means that they’ve earned your respect and friendship. The love that you are experiencing with your boss –at least I hope this is the love you’re experiencing—is called philos. Philos is one of the three types of love that will create a perfect “spousal” relationship. So, If you are wondering if the person is right for you then see that your relationship has eros, philos and agape.

I learned in my Prep. For Eternal marriage class—yes I did take this class—is lustful love. It’s what attracts a male to a female or vice versa and if you’re lucky it will go both ways but you had better trim your nose hairs first. A relationship should have a lot of chemistry. Physical intimacy will become essential and it’s something that only you and your spouse will share. Its something special and sacred. But a relationship needs to consist of more than just sex in order to survive the eternities because eventually you’ll want to do more than just…well….you know…that.

And so this is where philos comes in. Philos is the love that is shared between friends. So essentially philos is friendship. If you want your relationship to work out then you need to have friendship. A woman needs a best friend – not a dog—to keep a relationship going. They always say that humor is what keeps a relationship going and if you can’t have a real conversation with the person you love then maybe you’ve got a problem or maybe you need to work on your social skills...

So there’s the two things but what could the third possibly be? The last type of love is the best. Its unconditional love and its called agape. It’s a selfless love. You love that person no matter what. You don’t expect them to love you back, you don’t expect them to reciprocate, you don’t expect them to love you or expect to get anything out of the relationship. It’s the way a mother loves her child. Agape, simply put, is just unconditional love.

Your relationship needs to be more than just friends, more than just sex. It needs to include all three aspects of love in order for it to be perfect love. Your relationship may not have all of these aspects down to a T but if there all present then perhaps you are on the right track. Happy Valentines and happy hunting.