If I had a reality show.......

Okay I have never really thought about having a reality show but I have always thought that my life was like the Truman Show. You know the movie with Jim Carrey, where his whole life has been a hoax and his family and friends are all actors and he is the only of who thinks it's real. The reality show that I will star in will be a little different but similar to the Truman Show. It will be called "When you think no one is looking".
It will pretty much be me, the host, showing clips of all the random, crazy things that people do when, go figure, no one is looking. Things like making revolting noises(you know what I mean), singing Handel's Messiah in the shower, picking things that shouldn't be picked, fat people sneaking into the fridge and eating that left over steak they shouldn't have cooked, saying things that shouldn't be said in polite society, plotting to destroy--not the world-- but your best friends life by stealing her husband and children from underneath her since she stole your boyfriend in 6th grade, writing letters to Dear Abby about your pathetic husband who doesn't know how pathetic he is(of course after we catch you doing this, he will). Then there will be other things like crying over "Days of Our Lives" when little Jonny (now big, over weight Jonny) comes out of a 20 year a coma and calls his wife "mother" or taking that cookie your roommate just dropped in the trash can and savoring every bite of it, including whatever was growing out of it.
Of course this show probably won't go into production becaus it's too degrading and I really don't want to know what people are doing when no is looking. But if it were to go on tv it would play out like this; I would be the host and we would show the person doing the horrendous thing they were doing when "no one" was looking but....first we would give a synopsis of their life and how, Tom, the perfect child would never give the dog beer and watch him stumble around like his bum Uncle Jo would do after Tom's mother had dropped him off to his AA meetings. Then I, the host, would proceed to catch them and point and laugh and tell them how lame they are.
So this show will never go on air, but it's the best I could come up with...but like I said before I'm really not heartless or mean.....okay maybe just a little.