Dear Husband,
Wow what would I be without you? Probably the poor, coniving woman I once was but no longer am I poor, only coniving. If it weren't for you, I would still wear miss matched socks and I would still be searching for my bedroom floor. The maid you hired is great, have I told you that? She is such a thorough cleaner; yesterday she cleaned our kitchen floor with a toothbrush! The cook is pretty great too; although, lately I have been craving the Korean food we ate on our honeymoon. Is there anyway that you can hire a Korean cook, not that I am complaining because anything is an improvement from the food I used to steal from people's trash cans -- the whole ten second rule is so bogus.
Life is so great now that I have you and your money in my life. You should have seen me before. I was a kind person. I worked hard to make a name for myself, I had goals, a career but you saved me from all of that. Now, I have just you and it is so great. We do so many great things together. Travelling with you is amazing and no longer do I worry about saving money like I used to on trips. That beautiful diamond ring you bought me during our trip in Africa seems to sparkle more and more with each passing day.
My parents were exremely impressed when I told them I was marrying you and showed them the first ring you gave me. It was so kind of you to take my parents under your wing and buy them that mansion on the water. You are so selfless, like the other day when that bum asked me for some change and you called your body guard to beat the stuffing out of that old poor man. Oh what a man but I have to be honest with you now. I lied when I said that I was Bill Gates' niece and I was to inherit all his money and that I am related to the Royal Family but I am sure you understand.
Darling I love you and I hope you know me better now.
Love me a lot,
Kaitlin
PS: Oh and would you mind asking your driver to pick up my dry cleaning on the way home
By the way I am really not this shallow or mean....or heartless.
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