Humor in the worst situation

I recently broke up with someone. It tore me up, broke my heart but after six months of being taken advantage of I finally dumped him. Yes, I actually dumped him. The first day was the first. Every time I opened my mouth I wanted to cry, I couldn’t breathe.

When I dumped him, I really wanted to eliminate him from life, but how was to go about it? I deleted his pictures on facebook, I deleted him from my phone. After we ended things on the phone I felt awful. He texted me something and I went to text him back.

I discovered that I had deleted his number. Of course while I was deleting all of his texts, I kind of temporarily memorized his number. So I texted him, I texted him a list, a list of all the things he did that were dragging me down and him. Well I guess it wasn’t meant to be read by him.

I received this message, “I think you have the wrong number but your guy sounds like a real idiot.” Ughhhhh, whoops that really embarrassing; especially since I signed it, Kaitlin Prettywoman. So I explained to this mysterious stranger that I had just dumped the man who held my heart in check for 6 months and he texted me back, “He sounds like a selfish loser, I’m sure you are a beautiful and intelligent woman.”

Well I left it at that. I don’t text random strangers from Utah. But the next day I gave in to a moment of weakness and texted my dumpee, saying, “How was your day”. Only problem was I sent it to the same wrong number again. Well he starts texting me that he would like to be my friend, “I’m Mark and if you would like to be friends you can text or call me anytime.”
Curiosity killed the cat and I wanted a distraction. So I asked him four extremely crucial questions if you are to truly get to know someone.

-Favorite musician
-Hair color
-Age
-Job

This is the text I received back, “George Strait, sandy brown, 39 and fast food for seven years.” That’s when I deleted his texts from my phone and never talked to him again; especially when he knew my age and still wanted to keep talking. Good thing I didn’t mention my school or real name. All I need is a stalker.

But it was definitely a diversion and a funny story. Guess breaking up isn’t too bad.