“Pretty woman walkin down the street
Pretty woman, the kind I like to meet”
My theme song is Pretty woman (not because I am vain just look at my name and you will understand) and recently I have put a little twist on the song. I have come up with this divine plan of how to find my "true love" but so far all it has only gotten me in trouble.
The plan is this; With no definite time frame in mind I plan to meet my future husband by a good old fashioned trip and fall. Yes that is right my love story will consist of me "tripping" over my future husband.
I have been working on this plan and of course it has had its failures and shortcomings. But I always follow through with my plans and lately I have taken to throwing myself into the pathway of men. For the first incident I came out with some broken ribs because I tried it on the stairs, which is not a good idea.
The second time; however, I came out with a slightly wounded heart and a deep resentment for a certain man. Now of course during this random tossing of myself into men it hasn’t quite been so random.
I mean I don’t toss myself into any mans pathway. I have successfully avoided any men resembling Frankenstein, Dracula or Mr. Hyde but unfortunately my second incident (the one where he tried unsuccessfully to bring me fully to my knees but did steal a little piece of my heart) threw me into the arms of Dr. Jekyll.
From what I had first found out about him he seemed like a good guy but if he was as good as I thought then he should have been married not in his mid-twenties and single. He's a hard worker and from what I had experienced he had a good sense of humor and he was a real ladies man.
But I can at least say --and with a happy smile-- that I didn’t trip the first time I met him. I actually didn’t think much of him and it wasn’t until I kept eye tripping over him all over campus that I decided to take some action and assist what I thought was fate.
What a mistake that was. My Dr. Jekyll was one heck of a jackal as it came to turn out. Let me define jackal for you, “Any one of several species of carnivorous animals inhabiting Africa and Asia, related to the dog and wolf. They are cowardly, nocturnal, and gregarious. They feed largely on carrion, and are noted for their piercing and dismal howling.”
He came on quick and I accepted that thinking it was normal but then things became all too clear and I realized, slowly but surely, just what he was a jackal. What a coward he turned out to be. He told me he was interested but there was no effort made. He truly matched the definition of jackal: he worked in groups of what I like to call jerks and he was nocturnal, only talking to me after midnight and of course he was too much of a coward to be honest.
What a jackal and soon that jackal became the heartless and brutal killer Mr.Hyde. I saw him for what he was a deformed monster. So instead of tripping over Mister Right, Prince Charming, or Batman I ran into a walking contradiction, a coward, sniveling sneak! I hope that the jackal someday realizes what he missed out on. Then he can start up on his piercing and dismal howling because this Pretty woman doesn’t plan to “stop a while, take a while, give a my smile, look his way, stay with him” or do any tripping in his direction ever again. And so next time you decide to ‘trip’ over a guy make sure you do the research first
