I'm allergic to your PDA

I'm sensitive to your public displays of affections. I break out in a rash, a very contagious rash, and my nails start to grow at an incredibly fast rate. Ok this is not true but too much public affection is just disgusting.

I used to think I was sensitive because I wasn't getting any but I can get and get plenty of affection from my man.

My problem with couples is that they are so obsessed with each other that they can't see beyond the sphere of themselves.

I've noticed a decided selfishness and a grotesque increase in affectionate noises between loves who display just a little too much affection in public.

I don't mind holding hands, I don't mind even a kiss or some flirting but when company is present, please keep it to a minimum; especially, when the company is there to see them, communicate with them.

If they are dating that person, then they can spend tons of time doing those affectionate things, while I'm not around.

I mean, it's kind of like me having food on my table when a guest comes over and then eating that food and not offering them any of it. But not only do I withhold the food that they want but I also eat the food with as much gusto and noise as I possibly can make.

But, being etiquettly adept, you would offer me some of the food on your table when I came over. So, looking at this situation logically, just as you'd offer me the food, I should expect that you would share your man too, when you're so blatantly "eating" (aka kissing, rubbing,) him. So, if you want to make out in front of me or flirt in front of me, then you better not get upset when I try to get in on it.

Of course I would never really do this but too much PDA is uncomfortable, rude and inconsiderate.

So, get off your man when I come for a visit or don't get upset when I join in your fun.