I got a lot of angry letters because of this column I wrote for BYU-Idaho's school newspaper.
"Be not afraid of greatness; some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them,” said Shakespeare.
I wouldn’t say that greatness is being thrust upon me, but whatever is being thrown at me is something I didn’t initially want, and is something I am still trying to run from.
I’m a romantic, a fairy tale chaser. I used to believe that I’d graduate high school, go to BYU-Idaho, get married and start a family. I’d spend the rest of my life in a blind daze of happily ever after where the animals talk to me and help me with chores.
I thought I’d spend my day baking cookies, bragging about my kids, gossiping, planning elaborate Relief Society crafts and sweeping dirt under the oven. Somewhere along the way I made a huge mistake.
I should have chosen to be a family consumer science major, but I chose wrong. I decided to be a communication major. To make things worse, I started working for the newspaper here. After that things just went downhill. I made friends. I made connections from there. I became an extrovert and I enjoyed working.
I interned at a concrete company, freelanced for a local Maryland paper, I even worked at a gynecology office, and now I’ve decided to go to grad school.
I should have my masters before I’m 22, since I’ll graduate with my bachelors at 20. My friends who go to other colleges (non-LDS colleges) tell me that I have a lot going for me, that I’m super accomplished and I should go make a name for myself.
I don’t know how it all happened. How dare I give up the notion of getting married before graduating? How dare I become a menace to society? But I decided to anyway.
I’m not insulting those that are already married and I’m not discouraging those who want to get married, but I’m so happy that my fate took me in a direction that didn’t leave me married, pregnant and working to get my husband through college.
I fought tooth and nail for that privilege of marriage, but I just never wanted any of the men who wanted me and vice versa.
It seems that as a woman at “BYU-I-do” you can’t be accomplished until there’s a ring on your finger, but I disagree. I’ve fought that stereotype with the violence of a cornered raccoon, and I’ve come out of “BYU-I-do” single.
There were a lot of close calls, but I decided that I want to be single and graduate from “BYU-I-do” -which is the real accomplishment.
I’ve had this need to “be somebody” slowly, but surely, thrust upon me, and so I’ll go out into the world and do whatever it is I need to do.
Someday I’ll let some loser (because all men are losers) stick a ring through my nose, and I’ll become the stereotypical homemaking momma and be extremely happy; but for now, I choose the freedom of being single.
