Deleting Facebook and restoring life

I deleted the Facebook two weeks ago. I bought an iphone two days ago. I am glad that I deleted the Facebook, before I bought the iphone. I could see some serious issues coming up if I still had the Facebook and the iphone. 

I noticed a lot of problems that arose within myself over the four years I had Facebook. I was jealous. I was able to breed that jealousy to a distinct low by surfing through the photos, success stories and marriage proposal updates that appeared on my Facebook everyday. 

I kept telling myself, "you'll get rid of Facebook as soon as ... " or "you need Facebook, you're a Comms major, its inevitable." 

It wasn't inevitable, it was destructive. It took away my time, creativity, and love for those around me. Facebook gave me a life, only to take it away by sucking me into, making Facebook the central focus of every aspect, every facet of my life. 

Who created Facebook? Who ran Facebook? Some guy name Mark Zuckerburg. Was I now letting some punk kid run my life? He must feel extremely powerful.

I was giving everyone access to my photos, my friends, my personal thoughts and feelings. The mystery of my life ... oh wait, there was no mystery. And the mystery of those I didn't communicate with any longer wasn't a mystery either. 

I thought at first that I liked this. And I did. I loved it when I was single. It gave the shy girl the ability to open up to others and get dates, lots of dates. But I found myself depending on it for excitement, depending on it to get to know others and I found that it kept disappointing me. 

Why? 

Because you really can't get to know a person through Facebook. I mean, you can get to know their ego, get to know what about them they like the most ... since that is the only thing they're going to post. But you can't get to know them as an individual. 

I began to see people as a downward or upward comparison. They were either better than me and I secretly hated them or they were worse off than me and I felt sorry for them. 

I didn't want to feel this way. I didn't want others to feel this way about me. 

So, I took myself away to save myself and yourself from the jealousy or pity that I create within you and you created within myself.

Some would point out that Facebook doesn't affect them, that they have no special ties to it ... but those are men, and they lack emotion anyway.

First few months of marriage

Lindsay took some amazing photos of us. The weather was stormy but it made for a nice shot. 

I feel like a model in this picture. 

So, we've been married for almost four month now. We're kinda old news, its true. I feel like we've been married for years and I feel like we're not married at all.

There are already moments when marriage is very difficult, very complicated, but there are also moments where it is all completely worth it.

I find myself very blessed to have a man like Brandon in my life. He makes me think about my opinions, my decisions, my feelings. I do a lot more soul searching, more than I ever did before.

We've recently hit a point where we don't always know what we should be doing with our evenings. Both of us love being productive but you can't be productive all the time, right? So, yesterday I put a bunch of date ideas together, tour them into strips and threw them in a jar. Now when we are at a loss for what to do, we'll just go by the jar.

You should see some of my brilliant date ideas; although, I think Brandon may have suggested the best of them all. One of these days we're going to jump on tracks and see where it takes us, and then we'll pick a random hotel to spend the night at. Sounds like a blast, right?

We're volunteering this weekend to clean up after some convention they are doing for True Value. We're pretty excited about it, since its with the Habitat for Humanity and we've spent a good deal of time with our friends at the Salt Lake City Habitat Restore.

On Sunday we have to figure out if we want to get up and try going to the ward that we're are supposed to be going to now or keep attending the one that is just as close, which we've been attending for a year now. We're tempted to at least check out the other ward, especially since the Bishop and relief society president live on our street.

Marriage has really been great though. I'd write more, but there isn't enough space to express the first few months of our marriage. I'll just start trying to update this from now on. Peace.