And so she flew

She touched his cheek, she caught the tear before it rolled from his face to his chest, and she held him till he slept. She left. She didn't look back. She never looked back. She couldn't look back.

Too much looking back and you'll walk into a tree, you'll get hit by a car, you'll fall into a hole. She wasn't strong enough to climb out of another hole, couldn't dig in, pull up and drag herself to her feet. The next time she fell she wouldn't get back up, she wouldn't get back out.

Thats what love was for her; always deep, always unrequited. Most find love, grasp a hand and walk the trail with hands swinging. Everyone falls into a hole once or twice but she kept nearly falling so many times after the first. She recognized the signs but still gave in, kept trying to give her all.

If there was another path she'd take it. No more side stepping holes. She'd have someone to fill her holes, a board to place across, cement to fill them in but instead she continues to walk around them, straying temporarily from the path, head held high. It hurts when the man you love doesn't love you back but still holds onto you, won't let go.

She knew the whole time it would end. Everyone told her to end it. She held on. She fantasized. She loved. She loved and she broke. She ended it but with love still in her heart. She sat in that hole for so long, deluding herself that the hole wasn't a hole but a home, it wasn't.

She'd reach for his hand and he'd pull away. She'd speak her mind and he'd cover his ears. She'd tell him she loved him and he'd tell her he often didn't like her. She gave all and he gave none. She knew it. She was always aware of the manipulation, the abuse but she let it happen. She let them dig their holes into her.

So many do. With each lover she lost a little more. She no longer fell in holes just kicked some dirt in them, walked around them and looked for the next one. So many holes, so much pain. No trust, no faith, no hope for each of the men she dated. She waited for each affair with her heart to end and they always did.

She stopped walking away because she stopped finding love to walk away from. She decided she was tired of avoiding holes, leaving the path and she was tired of falling and so she dug a little hole, planted a seed, grew a tree, climbed that tree and jumped from that tree. This time she didn't fall, she flew.