I eat like Oprah. I eat like a fat kid given a cake after starving in the desert for a week. If it were my choice I would eat at McDonalds everyday. EVERYDAY. Just thinking about McDonalds is making me salivate right now. I'm drooling on my desk. Its soaking my coat and making me cold.
Do I have an eating disorder? Probably. But its mostly because I'm cheap. I would totally be eating grapes out of a hot guys hand right now but I can't afford either and so instead I'll probably go to the store tonight and buy little debbies or eat the popsicles in my freezer. Did you know that you can get a 100 popsicles for $2 at Walmart?
Right now I'm chewing on a candy cane. I bought them right after Christmas. Everything was 75% off. I'm looking forward to Valentines day so I can buy the on sale candy the day afterwards--maybe I will buy myself some flowers too.
When my resources are limited I take what I can get, I'm not picky. If we were on a desert island with no food, I wouldn't hesitate to eat you. I'd probably savor you. I savor my Ramen noodles, I savor expired salmon, I savor ravioli straight from the can so I think roasting you over a spit wouldn't bother me too much.
Are my eating habits disgusting? Probably. But I'm an easy date, an easy person to satisfy. You get me something off the dollar menu and I'm happy. My stomach is satisfied and my taste buds --I begin to doubt if I even really have taste buds--are on a high.
I'm a hearty eater but I'm easy to feed. One cancels out the other I think. This is why you should take me on date. Take me out to dinner. Buy me McDonalds, buy me Taco Bell, cook me some eggs. I'll eat it. I'll eat anything and lots of it.
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