Rollerblading will be forever

I was rushed to the emergency room on Tuesday night by my roommates. Why? Rollerblades. I have no idea how it happened but one moment I was gliding down the street and then next I'm laying next to the curb with my head in my hands.

My true love didn't come save me, I didn't receieve special powers but a married man ran over and offered me a ride from his wife who was about to pick him up. With everything spinning I picked myself up and kindly declined his offer. I then skated/limped the rest of the way home.

My roommates originally laughed. They thought I had just scraped up my knee. They thought I had finally fallen. Everyone had wanted me to fall and I finally did. As I lay on the couch, not really able to see out of my right eye, they became worried, especially when they saw the blood on my forehead. Soon the pain became unbearable and I went to the ER for the second time in my life.

Everyone has made fun of me and my blades. They feel no fear in telling me that it's something from the past and I should quit. Quit? Why would I quit doing something I love? As I lay on the hospital bed I didn't think about how short life is, I thoguht about rollerblading.

Yes, I did bash my head on the concrete and there's a scab on my knee the size of my fist but will that stop me? Heck no! If I love something then there's no stopping me. Quit rollerblading? I think not.

I can do better, I’m worth it

I date jerks. Who hasn’t dated a jerk? I’ve dated a lot of them. I don’t know why I fall for the jerks but I do. I don’t want that though. I want someone who wants to be with me, do special things for me. I don’t want to be “back burner girl” or “go to girl.”

I’m through with guys dating me because I am convenient. I am better than that. I deserve better than that. I’m worthy of roses, worthy of noble deeds, worthy of natural affection, worthy of love.

Screw those guys who treat girls like they’re part of their stamp collection. I’m not a stamp, so they can go lick the back of something else. I won’t be another X on their list, another story to brag about, another girl they've mislead with their manipulative lies. I’m a good girl, who (for the most part) makes good decisions, treats people right and doesn’t play games with men.

I’m worth it all. I’m worth working for. I’m tired of being the one who does all the work. I shouldn’t be the one writing the cute love notes, walking to see them, feeding them, saving them money. I’m worth more than that. I’m worth the sacrifice. All I ever asked for was a little attention, a little time.

I didn’t even get that. I realize now that I deserve more than that. I won’t feel guilty asking for time, asking for affection, asking for love. If they can’t meet my demands then they can take a dive. I do what it takes to make a relationship work, I don’t see why they can’t either.

Can't touch this

Can't touch this. Thats right sucka. I'm untouchable. Right now I am on fire and no one is going to put me out...well I mean unless you want to pull out a fire extinguisher or blackmail--not that there is any. I'm fixing the old me and becoming woman of wonder. People will forever be scratching their head in confusion when they see this fine specimen named Kaitlin strutting down their hallway.

No more wasting time or being ashamed. I used to get so antsy sitting in my apartment during the winter. I wouldn't exercise because I dreaded the looks I would get or the possible barf that may come passing through their lips when they saw me trying to swim a lap.

So this explains why I spent six months dating the biggest loser in the world--or at least one of the biggest losers--there may be bigger but I haven't met one and I don't plan on wasting my time meeting any. Now that I've got things figured out there's nothing or no one that is going to take what I've got away from me.

I've got myself. I'm on a self-improvement kick and I'm kicking butt. I plan to stick to it. Rollerblading, swimming, serving, loving, reading my scriptures, praying and I am working on my attitude. I am going to be the best that I've ever been. Each day I will be better. No more of this namby pamby half butt crap. I'm picking up the reigns and setting this chariot on the run, setting it on fire.

I have goals. No more distractions from them. Put in my path what needs to be put there and whatever doesn't...well I will just kick it out of the way cause nothing can stop me, can touch me, cause I'm gonna make a difference.