Police Ride Along

The ride started out boring and nothing really happened. We stopped at the train tracks and Officer Hagen directed some traffic around them because they were frozen over. Then we drove around just watching the roads and keeping an eye out for suspicious activity.

At first Hagen didn't say much of anything and things were awkward but for the last hour of the ride I found out a lot I didn't know about Rexburg. First he talked about how he catches people who park so they can make-out and have sex. He actually said that he has caught a few couples having sex right around the temple area.

He also talked about how the most suicide calls they get each week are called in on Sunday. Girls going to church and feeling guilty about how they had been doing things they shouldn't have with their boyfriends or their grades were most likely to make attempts at suicide on Sunday.

One story he told was about a girl who had claimed rape just to get her ex-fiance's attention. The way she did it was even more interesting. They found her naked and beaten up at the park and at first she claimed she was raped but eventually she admitted to doing the damage to herself because she was angry with her fiance and she wanted him to take her back.

Another story was more along the lines of a domestic issue. A little boy had run across the street screaming that his mother and sister were dead and that some stranger had killed them with an axe. As it turns out his mother and sister were fine and he had just been recovering from being sick.

Well after telling me all of these stories we decided to go check some back roads and see if we could catch any couples doing something they shouldn't and we actually caught someone. Right down the street from the temple where they are building some houses we discovered this couple doing some things they shouldn't have been doing.

Of course I didn't see any nudity, thank goodness. They were in a truck and Officer Hagen turned his spotlight on them got out of the car and went over and talked to them. All it looked to me was that the female was really uncomfortable and the male in the car was lifting up his pants so he could put them back on.

By the time the situation was over I was almost in tears from laughing and then the story Officer Hagen told me was even more interesting. He said that he had gotten to the car and the girl was on the floor in the fetal position and crying. The male just looked a little flustered. Hagen asked the girl to put some clothes on but was forced to watch in case one of them tried to pull a weapon out on them.

Anyway that was my experience with the police ride along and I have to admit that it was quite intriguing.

The Mayor I see

Well I started my feature story and what I was going to do was a profile on the mayor of Rexburg. I started my research by emailing him, Mayor Shawn Larsen, and his associates to find out what he thinks of his job and what his associates think of him.

Since my research was premature I only received a very small amount of quotes, which came from him and one of his coworkers. But through some research on his Web site and the incite of his coworker a lot was revealed to me about the Mayor of Rexburg.

He told me where I could find a majority of the information I was looking for on his Web site but then he also talked about what his plans for the city are. "I recently gave my State of the City speech and it will also provide you some information about our community and some of the projects we have planned for this year."

This actually helped to point me in the right direction and gave me some ideas of where to look for more information on what is going on in the city that would be of interest to the people. But he also informed in more detail of what his role of mayor entailed.

"My responsibilities are to ensure the efficient day-to-day operations of the City of Rexburg. I am in the second year of my second four-year term. I served on the City Council for two years prior to being elected mayor."

I thought that this was interesting because I personally didn't know what the mayor really did. He gave a small glimpse of what he does but its pretty much make sure that things run as smoothly as possible in Rexburg.

On www.rexburg.com I also liked the quote he used to describe what he did and the importance of the small local decisions that are made. "It is at the local level that parks are developed, water is treated, garbage is picked up, pot holes are filled, streets are maintained, and jobs are created.
I also emailed Jennifer Steinmetz, who works directly with the mayor and what she had to say about him was very positive. She noticed a lot of the things that I have noticed recently noticed about him through emails and reports.

"He is very generous with his time, in particular, and his desire to make happier the lives of the citizens of Rexburg is very apparent in his manner."She noticed a certain sincerity about him that was particularly interesting to me because so many representatives and just anyone are so unwilling to sacrifice time. It is a good sign when someone is willing to take the time to stop and help you with what you need.

I liked how she summed up her feeling for Mayor Shawn Larsen and that is how I will sum this up too. "I think he is a very admirable person and I think he has done an excellent job as mayor. I think he has helped raise morale in Rexburg."

Dr.Jekyll becomes a jackal and attacks a pretty woman

"Pretty woman walkin down the street

pretty woman the kind I like to meet"

My theme song is Pretty Woman (not because I am vain, just look at my name and all will be clear) and recently I have put a little twist on the song. I have come up with this divine plan of how I want to find my "true love" but so far all it has only gotten me in trouble.

The plan is this: with no definite time frame in mind I plan to meet my future husband by tripping over him. Yes that is right I want to literally want to fall in love.

My plan has taken some twists and turn for the worst but hopefully it will work out. I realized recently that my plan wouldn't happen naturally. So, I have taken to throwing myself into the pathway of men. The first attempt I came out with some broken ribs because I tried it on the stairs, which I really wouldn't recommend.

The second time; however, was slightly worse because I came our with a wounded heart and nagging sensation to figure out what happened. So during this random tossing of myself into men it hasn't quite been so random.

I mean I don't toss myself into any mans pathway. I have successfully avoided any men resembling Frankenstein, Dracula or Mr. Hyde but unfortunately threw me into the arms of Dr. Jekyll.

From what I had at first found out about him he seemed like a nice guy. But if he was as good as I thought then he should have been married not in his mid-twenties and single. I seemed to think that a hard worker stood for a nice man but I thought wrong. Sometimes being alone too long with his books and work can make a man very self-centered and...weird. But still he was definitely a "lady killer."

But I can at least say--and with a happy smile--that I didn't trip the first time I met him. I actually didn't think much of him and it wasn't until I kept accidentally tripping over him with my eyes at random places on campus that I decided to take some action and assist what I thought had to be fate.

What a mistake that was. My Dr. Jekyll was on heck of a jackal. Let me define jackal for you, "Any one of several species of carnivorous animals inhabiting Africa and Asia, related to the dog and wolf. They are cowardly, nocturnal, and gregarious. They feed largely on carrion, and are noted for their piercing and dismal howling."

He came on quickly, like a jackal on a dead animal, and I accepted that thinking it was normal but then things became all too clear and I realized, slowly but surely, just what he was. He told me he was interested but there was no effort made to be with me. He truly matched the definition of jackal: he worked in groups of what I like th call jerks and he was nocturnal, only talking to me after midnight and of course he was too much of a coward to be honest about what he really wanted--a make-out buddy.

What a jackal and soon that jackal became the heartless and brutal killer I had thought to avoid, Mr. Hyde. I saw him for what he was a seemingly normal man turned into a deformed monster.

So instead of tripiing over Mister Right, Prince charming or Batman I ran into a walking contradiction. I hope that the jackal someday realizes what he missed out on. Then he can start his piercing and dismal jackal howling because this pretty woman doesn't plan to "stop awhile, take awhile, give a smile, look his way, stay with him" or do any tripping in his direction ever again.

Hidden maneater

Eat your heart out. I am a gorgeous, young, intelligent woman who can offer anyone and everyone an entertaining evening with my winsome wit and my moving memories. No more am I the insecure teenager I once was, I have dropped that aura and took upon myself the presence of a strong willed queen, the queen of my life and no mortal man can stop me from doing what I want.

Where do I get this unstoppable feeling of self-satisfaction? It’s me. I wake up every morning I look in the mirror and I think, "what a gorgeous woman." I know there is more to me then the stupendous figure and the glorious goddess face that I have been given and so that is why I wear a mask.

Every morning without fail I put my mask on, or more like I take gobs of make up and smear it on. In the evening I wash it off and I peel off the added fat that gives me girth and gives me the pinch able juiciness that is not really my face.

Yes I know that the campus forbids students to wear masks but they were so shocked by my stunning beauty that they forced me to put this brown bag over my head. Well that is what it looks like to me. My ordinary face that I put on in the morning holds no glory, no stunning quality that the original does.

It’s a good thing that I know that beneath the grease and the dull brown wig that crowns my head is the true beautiful me. The effects of this cover up have saved girls from my stealing their boyfriends, crushes and even husbands with my stunning charms.

Men have trailed me since I was a child. I worked hard to make myself ugly in a practical way. I shaved my head when I was five, I stopped wearing deodorant when I was twelve and now I have taken to putting on the fake wears of the world that so many girls use to make themselves beautiful.

But I think I am going to quit. I am tired of being judged by this ugly face I am forced to wear. The pretense I put on insults those around me. Everyone knows the gorgeous face and figure that I hide so well under baggy hoodies and the padded gullet that I am wear to add girth to my amazing figure is fake. I can't hide any longer what everyone wants to see.

This dark and dismal place called Rexburg deserves to see the beauty that is me. Even if men begin to trail me at least they will be happy while drooling after me and licking the ground I walk on and caressing the tissues I use to blow my nose with.

I am sick of being dumped and receiving uninterested flirtations from men because of the practical face I use to hide the glorious me. No longer will I do this I won't stand to be looked down on, frowned upon, brutalized and judged.

Who can brow beat beauty? Who would dare to turn me down or ignore me if I were take off this mask? The answer is simple: no one.

Cobras and ferrets

World class flirts need to be shot, especially ones that don’t just verbally flirt but use a certain touch a certain vibe to draw you in. It’s the one’s who hold your hand, cuddle with you and tell you they are interested and want more than a casual flirtation that should be hunted down with a machete.

It makes me wonder if they know that they are leaving in their wake a trail of bitter women. Probably and I bet they (he) is thoroughly enjoying the results of their (his) actions.Right now they (he) is probably rubbing their (his) perfect man hands together and smiling that attractive and menacing smile while they (he) plans to capture their (his) next not so attractive and weak willed woman.

I have seen men that look like ferrets and now I have been lead on by a man who acted like a ferret. And what a ferret he was when he was weaving his ferrety body of lies around me while preparing to strike like a cobra and rip my heart out of my chest.That is what these world class flirts are; flirtatious and furrowing ferret cobras that want nothing but a good wrap and bite so they can just walk away licking the droplets of our sweet emotion from their lips.

But there is a hope, brightness to the future because it’s not hard to carry a sharp knife in your pocket…or a handgun. Next time I find myself chasing or pursuing a world class flirt it won’t be with my heart in my hands but with a can of mace, a bomb, a gun or my personal favorite a machete.