Body of a goddess

I’m too fat, my skin is too pale, my acne is disfiguring, my hands are too big, my voice isn’t feminine enough and the zit in the center of my forehead just popped. We are our toughest critique but what else influences us to feel insecure in our appearance?

I heard this joke—read at your own discretion, its degrading.
Q: Why do women wear make-up and perfume?
A: Because they’re smelly and ugly.

This seems demeaning and easy for us, as women, to deny but how much of this do we believe to be true? I turn the tv on, flip through a magazine, walk out of my apartment, and I am faced with women who look better and will always look better.

I’m embarrassed to wear a swim suit because there are things about my body that I don’t want others to see. Actually if I could I would just put a brown bag over my head and wear a trench coat to all of my classes. While most of the insecurity is in my head, some of it is caused by what I hear every day.

I dated a guy who thought I was too fat. He would talk about taking me to the gym and working off my love handles. He didn’t like the fact that I didn’t always wear stiletto heels and sexy belts. He wanted a girl with perfect abs, a perfect butt, perfect everything—in regards to the body.

My older sister was a big boned girl. She struggled with her image for years. Who do you think watched her struggle? I did. The impressionable little sister, who admired everything about her sister, wanted to be just like her sister. My sister used to have magazine cut outs of skinny, beautiful actresses covering her wall. She’s exercise all the time, skip meals and weigh herself several times a day. I used to do some of the same things. I’ve never eaten something fattening without feeling guilty, ever. I’ve never gone a day thinking that I was skinny enough, pretty enough.

Once I hit high school I decided that my appearance just didn’t matter. I dressed in baggy sweaters and baggy pants. I went through high school thinking I was fat and ugly. I thought I wasn’t worthy of others friendship. I masked these feelings with a pretend attitude. It was me against the world but really all I wanted was to fit in. my appearance stopped me from getting dates, from making friends. I didn’t know what self confidence was.

My attitude didn’t magically change. I came to college and felt the same way my whole freshman year. That whole freshman year is a blur. I wasn’t happy. My feelings began to change when I started dating and started having friends. When I surrounded myself with wonderful people, who loved me for me then I realized that I didn’t need to look perfect.

While we should all take care of ourselves, we must also realize that each person is created differently. We are our toughest critique. When your family and friends tell you that you’re beautiful listen to them.

I still struggle to feel good about myself. Sometimes I look around and wonder why I should even bother trying but then I remember that we are created in God’s image. I’m a daughter of God and so I am beautiful and you are too.