I HATE DOGS

I pull out the vacuum. The sun shines on the floor, the dog hair is illuminated. And suddenly, everything is illuminated. If I choose this life I will be vacuuming up dog hair for the rest of my life.

When did dog hair bring such clarity to life? I guess it really wasn't the dog hair, it was the dog. I look to the future.

I can't stand the idea of putting my baby on the floor where a dog was just drooling, licking their junk, scratching themselves.

Sometimes I breathe and I can feel the hair in my throat. I drop an article of clothing on the floor and its ruined because its coated in dog hair. But, is it just the hair? No, its the smell, the smell of a dog that hasn't been properly groomed, ever. Revolting.

I hate when he watches us eat, I hate the twin strings of drool that form at the side of his mouth and slowly make their way down to the floor. I hate when the strings of drool get wiped on the floor, the couch or worse me. I hate walking on the floor barefoot, knowing that he's drooled pretty much everywhere and now its crusted on the carpet.

I hate cleaning up the accidents in the house. There are a million other things I could complain about but the point is, I hate dogs. I've fought saying that for years. I know how it offends so many to hear those words.

How could I hate mans best friend? Well, he ain't my best friend. So, they may be a man's best friend but who cleans up the dogs hair, cleans up his vomit? Not the man, that's for sure.

People will probably stop talking to me because I'm an awful person, a heartless person. But why would I love dogs? There are more reasons for me to hate them than to love them.

Not only are they disgusting but we waste millions of dollars on our dog every year. Dogs are a waste of money, a waste of space, just a waste. The end.