Whats this all about? Everyone in the world is depressed. I'm depressed, you're depressed, you're marriage counselor is depressed, that man with the sign on the side of the road is depressed, Bill Gates is depressed and even your cat is depressed.
We are all down in the dumps. Why? Is it because some braniac psych diagnosed us with it. "I am so sad and here's why......" So what? Who really cares besides you? Who doesn't get sad? Who doesn't face disappointment? Someone dies every second. Someone fails a test every 1/2 second. Somebody loses a limb every 1.5 seconds. Get off your rump, unless your part of that latter statistic(if so you can stop reading this), and do something.
Most of the people who are diagnosed with depression are just bored with their lives. Get over it. If you don't like your life then do something about it. I don't like your face so am I going to do something about it? Yes. I am going to chop it off or stick a bag over your head. Take some action, folks.
Of course there are a few exceptions when it comes to depression but YOU are not one of them. Put down this paper, put down your candy bar, put down the hand mirror you carry in your purse and go run a mile or eat a bowl of oatmeal. If you feel sad all the time then go do something about it. Do something that will make you happy. Now I am not saying "go have sex, kill your neighbor, eat a human or drown some kittens" because if those things make you happy then you really have a problem and you probably should keep seeing your psychiatrist or better yet get a straight jacket put on you and watch some Barney.
Instead I am saying that your life is probably lacking something. Now all you have to do is figure out the RIGHT thing to fix it. I know for me I thought it was man. I thought "if I have a hot guy then I will be happy" but that didn't work out. Instead I went and got an ugly one and that made me truly happy.....sike. No I realized that it wasn't a guy I needed. I needed to get in shape physically, mentally and most importantly spiritually.
So I planned an agenda. I slowly forced myself off my rump, backed off from facebook, put down the candy bar and ditched the ugly/hot guy I was planning to ensnare. I began first with the spiritual. I began to read my scriptures EVERY night and prayed all the time. I took my churhc calling more seriously, I took church more seriously and I took life more seriously. After I had ammended that situation and truly began seeing the light I moved onto other aspects of myself to work on. Eating right, exercising and reading books that make me think (no this does not mean Twilight and Harry Potter. My cat could read those they're so simple).
I made goals, I still make goals. I am so far away from being perfect it sometimes makes me cringe but it gives me something to look forward to. Are you depressed? No. Go find purpose for yourself? Forget yourself! Think of others. Find ways to make yourself better in all ways and it won't matter that you get the blues every now and then . You'll know that you will get over them so, move on and DO something. Ditch the psych and get a LIFE!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Just ten percent.
Its late, should be in bed but I don't want to be. Yep so what do I do when its late, I'm alone and theres nothing on television to crochet to? Apparently we all know now. Yeah, its a little lame but its what I do.
I don't know what to write about but sometimes its just nice to write. I can't believe that I'm going back. I was hoping to go back all beautiful. You know do one of those transformations? Go from caterpillar to butterfly but apparently I will always be a moth...one of those ugly plain brown ones. When you kill them they leave a brown dusting on your hand, not that I would ever kill a moth (ya right, I would in a heartbeat and you would too), but that is the kind I would be.
Ok so I have this notion. Don't make fun of me but I just know it. So we are told that we only use 10% of our brains, right? Well if this is true then what has happened to the other 90 percent? I will tell you. Its being saved. Saved for the next life. Don't ask me how I know it but I do. Do you ever feel like you are missing some emotion, you can't feel enough, feel like you should be able to know something but can't? Do you feel that 90 percent denied? I know that more than 90 percent of my life I have felt mentally retarded and wasn't able to feel as much as I would have liked.
Of course there could be something greatly wrong with me. Maybe I am depressed and don't know it. Hey! Can I get a psych in here? Oh wait they think everyone is depressed, but I digress. This is a topic I will discuss another day.
Right now lets get back to that 90% thing I had going. Sometimes I feel so much emotion I want to explode. There is so much sadness, so much happiness, so much excitement and so much worry. But these moments are short and short lived. They don't last. Why don't we feel strong emotions all the time? Maybe some of us do but that could be because you are using your 10% differently from mine. I put so much of my ten percent into the intellectual--I am a total genious-- that I don't have much space left for emotion.
This of course is very frustrating but it also gives us something to look forward to in the next life. This also provides us for an excuse in difficult situations. "Oh well I got a D on that test because I put so much of my ten percent into feeling" or "I put so much of my ten percent into taking care of this family that I forgot our anniversary."
Now that I have shared this little ingenious insight I would love for you to spread it to the world. I have been using my 10 percent quite well, I think. I came up with this whole elaborate 10 percent thing and I got you to read this whole article so it looks like I WIN!!!!
I don't know what to write about but sometimes its just nice to write. I can't believe that I'm going back. I was hoping to go back all beautiful. You know do one of those transformations? Go from caterpillar to butterfly but apparently I will always be a moth...one of those ugly plain brown ones. When you kill them they leave a brown dusting on your hand, not that I would ever kill a moth (ya right, I would in a heartbeat and you would too), but that is the kind I would be.
Ok so I have this notion. Don't make fun of me but I just know it. So we are told that we only use 10% of our brains, right? Well if this is true then what has happened to the other 90 percent? I will tell you. Its being saved. Saved for the next life. Don't ask me how I know it but I do. Do you ever feel like you are missing some emotion, you can't feel enough, feel like you should be able to know something but can't? Do you feel that 90 percent denied? I know that more than 90 percent of my life I have felt mentally retarded and wasn't able to feel as much as I would have liked.
Of course there could be something greatly wrong with me. Maybe I am depressed and don't know it. Hey! Can I get a psych in here? Oh wait they think everyone is depressed, but I digress. This is a topic I will discuss another day.
Right now lets get back to that 90% thing I had going. Sometimes I feel so much emotion I want to explode. There is so much sadness, so much happiness, so much excitement and so much worry. But these moments are short and short lived. They don't last. Why don't we feel strong emotions all the time? Maybe some of us do but that could be because you are using your 10% differently from mine. I put so much of my ten percent into the intellectual--I am a total genious-- that I don't have much space left for emotion.
This of course is very frustrating but it also gives us something to look forward to in the next life. This also provides us for an excuse in difficult situations. "Oh well I got a D on that test because I put so much of my ten percent into feeling" or "I put so much of my ten percent into taking care of this family that I forgot our anniversary."
Now that I have shared this little ingenious insight I would love for you to spread it to the world. I have been using my 10 percent quite well, I think. I came up with this whole elaborate 10 percent thing and I got you to read this whole article so it looks like I WIN!!!!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Clean Romantic Fantasies....is there such a thing?
Mmmm what do we find romantic. I went through my mind and pictured romantic, and clean, daydreams. The first time I ever did this was in my second semester of my Sophomore year at college. Before that all my romantic imaginings had been innapropriate....sike! It has just never crossed my mind to think romantically....or let myself think romantically, in a totally pure way.
The first thing I ever pictured was Jamba Juice--this is the best smoothy place ever. If you go get Mango-a-go-go. Of course thats not really romantic so I had to step it up. In my mind I pictured the Jamba Juice in a mans hand. Still this was a limited imagination. So eventually this little idea became a full blown day dream. It consisted of me being woken up by a man with a Jamba in one hand and "The Dark Knight" in the other. He offers me his hand--as the princes' do in Disney Movies--and I accept. He then escorts me to the couch and there we share a Jamba and appreciate the best movie of 2008.
Now this day dream seemed a little lame to many of my friends so I decided to step it up even more. This time I am at the beach, alone. I walk along enjoying the crashing waves that soak my legs and modest knee length shorts. In the back of my mind I am thinking of how I wished the man I loved was there. Suddenly, I feel hands on my shoulders. I panic for a moment but as I am turned toward my captor I realize that its my love. He has come as I wished him to. We walk on the crowded board walk and make jokes and amazing comebacks--sometimes a great comeback will make my day amazing-- and then we become quiet as we reach the end of the boardwalk and make our way to the ocean. Its pitch black and as the waves caress my legs his hand caresses mine. I am in love. And so we share a......
Still this sounds a little cheesy too. So lets move to my final romantic and totally appropriate romantic daydream. This one seems the most appropriate. It starts in front of a fireplace....get your mind out of the gutter, we are not going there! No instead we are sitting on the floor, leaning back on the couch; at least he is, I am in his arms. Theres a book in front of me, preferably a classic novel. It doesn't have to be some chick one either. Mark Twain always works for me. I love reading out loud and so I am reading to him while the fire casts a warm cozy glow over the room and us. We take turns reading and periodically stop to discuss the book and just talk about the topic at hand. Oh man, sooooo romantic.
Anyway now that you are drooling from my amazing romantic fantasies, which are totally clean and not jaded by todays conventionalities, why don't you try thinking up your own.
The first thing I ever pictured was Jamba Juice--this is the best smoothy place ever. If you go get Mango-a-go-go. Of course thats not really romantic so I had to step it up. In my mind I pictured the Jamba Juice in a mans hand. Still this was a limited imagination. So eventually this little idea became a full blown day dream. It consisted of me being woken up by a man with a Jamba in one hand and "The Dark Knight" in the other. He offers me his hand--as the princes' do in Disney Movies--and I accept. He then escorts me to the couch and there we share a Jamba and appreciate the best movie of 2008.
Now this day dream seemed a little lame to many of my friends so I decided to step it up even more. This time I am at the beach, alone. I walk along enjoying the crashing waves that soak my legs and modest knee length shorts. In the back of my mind I am thinking of how I wished the man I loved was there. Suddenly, I feel hands on my shoulders. I panic for a moment but as I am turned toward my captor I realize that its my love. He has come as I wished him to. We walk on the crowded board walk and make jokes and amazing comebacks--sometimes a great comeback will make my day amazing-- and then we become quiet as we reach the end of the boardwalk and make our way to the ocean. Its pitch black and as the waves caress my legs his hand caresses mine. I am in love. And so we share a......
Still this sounds a little cheesy too. So lets move to my final romantic and totally appropriate romantic daydream. This one seems the most appropriate. It starts in front of a fireplace....get your mind out of the gutter, we are not going there! No instead we are sitting on the floor, leaning back on the couch; at least he is, I am in his arms. Theres a book in front of me, preferably a classic novel. It doesn't have to be some chick one either. Mark Twain always works for me. I love reading out loud and so I am reading to him while the fire casts a warm cozy glow over the room and us. We take turns reading and periodically stop to discuss the book and just talk about the topic at hand. Oh man, sooooo romantic.
Anyway now that you are drooling from my amazing romantic fantasies, which are totally clean and not jaded by todays conventionalities, why don't you try thinking up your own.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Another week and a summer of changes
Oh man I have been lame about posting...whoops. Well, well well what can I say. I dropped ten pounds--give or take-- in 3 weeks and I wanna drop ten more before Christmas time....actually before Halloween....actually before the end of September but who's keeping track.
I'm lovin it though. I don't feel like such a blimp but my jiggly arms are my next goal now that I have dropped my rounded tummy and slimmed my thunder thighs. Oh man I cannot wait to be model thin. Its considered an accomplishment for me, when I accomplish it.
Anyway besides dropping some pounds not too much happened this week. Monday was a day and Tuesday followed right after. Both days I was very hungry and can't really remember much of what happened. I was hungry Wednesday when I came home from work and so I ate oatmeal....mmmmm oatmeal. Then I went to church. Good stuff there. I visited with a few people, which was nice because I don't get to have too many intelligent but relaxed conversations with people. Alex Kearns was baptized that night and it was really great being able
to witness that.
Oh ya this is kinda a random side note but I've been reading a few new books. One of them started out really great but I had to stop reading it because it had some bad words and stuff. It was about this old man who's a poker player and it told how to read people and how hard core poker playing is.
Anyway then Thursday rolled around and I babysat the Farnsworth kids. They're a lot of fun. Apparently some random surgery story I made up left them with stories to tell there grandparents. I don't even know what I said......uh oh. Sometimes I make up the most random and crazy stories off the top of my head...or maybe its the back, middle or random spots of my head, who knows?
Friday came and I worked at the GYN office, wahoo. It was a full week for me. A lot of phone calls and I am dreading them this week. Our Dr. is out for a couple of weeks on vacation. The phone calls will consist of "uh I can't get an appointment. This is ridiculous. You know what let me leave a message." I get so sick of the attitudes. I wonder if these people realize that they hurt feelings. I have to admit to more immunity than last year. Last year I used to get upset EVERY time someone was mad at me or hurting. Now when they give me an attitude over the phone I tend to roll my eyes and put on my false happy voice and pretend it doesn't bother me.
Well after all of that I went and spent the night at the Harts so I could babysit Lydia in the morning so her parents could go do a yard sale. She's a fun little girl. I spent the night watching Clue and crocheting. The guest bedroom was great cause they had a feather mattress. Mmmm it felt good. A whole big bed all to myself. Sometimes the bunk bed in my bedroom gets a little frustrating.
Saturday came. I babysat until 11 and then I went to Sam's soccer game. I don't usually go to them because I get really frustrated with the referees and the calls they make. But he played really well. We went and had lunch. Oh man Taco Bell tasted so good after eating oatmeal and salads all week. Sometimes a treat is necessary.
Well I went and shopped after that. Walmart I bought fixings for a pie and some veggies and fruit and yarn for the blanket I am working on. I went to JcPenney and bought 3 pairs of jeans for $13.59 It was crazy, that was a once in a lifetime deal for JcPenney. After that I bought a watermelon for a $1 from the Amish and then I went to the Flea Market. I bought this wicked awesome dress for only $20 and it is totally modest!!!!
Well I came home and jumped on the scale. I thought I must have gained a million pounds over the weekend but I found to my utter delight that I had dropped below what I was hoping to be. Then I swam and jumped on the trampoline. Jon wanted to back out and hit up the sales at JcPenney and so I took him there. I ended up buying an SD card for my phone and went home.
I did some cleaning, laundry, hair curling, nail painting. At midnight I made my pies and didn't eat anything along the way. I have been a master of temptation recently. No one would believe how disciplined I have become. This summer has been good for me. A lot of good habits created. Clean room, clean car, updated blog, lots of pictures, learning to follow driving directions, becoming independent, dieting, and exercising. Its been ama
zing.
I'm lovin it though. I don't feel like such a blimp but my jiggly arms are my next goal now that I have dropped my rounded tummy and slimmed my thunder thighs. Oh man I cannot wait to be model thin. Its considered an accomplishment for me, when I accomplish it.
Anyway besides dropping some pounds not too much happened this week. Monday was a day and Tuesday followed right after. Both days I was very hungry and can't really remember much of what happened. I was hungry Wednesday when I came home from work and so I ate oatmeal....mmmmm oatmeal. Then I went to church. Good stuff there. I visited with a few people, which was nice because I don't get to have too many intelligent but relaxed conversations with people. Alex Kearns was baptized that night and it was really great being able
to witness that.
Oh ya this is kinda a random side note but I've been reading a few new books. One of them started out really great but I had to stop reading it because it had some bad words and stuff. It was about this old man who's a poker player and it told how to read people and how hard core poker playing is.
Anyway then Thursday rolled around and I babysat the Farnsworth kids. They're a lot of fun. Apparently some random surgery story I made up left them with stories to tell there grandparents. I don't even know what I said......uh oh. Sometimes I make up the most random and crazy stories off the top of my head...or maybe its the back, middle or random spots of my head, who knows?
Friday came and I worked at the GYN office, wahoo. It was a full week for me. A lot of phone calls and I am dreading them this week. Our Dr. is out for a couple of weeks on vacation. The phone calls will consist of "uh I can't get an appointment. This is ridiculous. You know what let me leave a message." I get so sick of the attitudes. I wonder if these people realize that they hurt feelings. I have to admit to more immunity than last year. Last year I used to get upset EVERY time someone was mad at me or hurting. Now when they give me an attitude over the phone I tend to roll my eyes and put on my false happy voice and pretend it doesn't bother me.
Well after all of that I went and spent the night at the Harts so I could babysit Lydia in the morning so her parents could go do a yard sale. She's a fun little girl. I spent the night watching Clue and crocheting. The guest bedroom was great cause they had a feather mattress. Mmmm it felt good. A whole big bed all to myself. Sometimes the bunk bed in my bedroom gets a little frustrating.
Saturday came. I babysat until 11 and then I went to Sam's soccer game. I don't usually go to them because I get really frustrated with the referees and the calls they make. But he played really well. We went and had lunch. Oh man Taco Bell tasted so good after eating oatmeal and salads all week. Sometimes a treat is necessary.
Well I went and shopped after that. Walmart I bought fixings for a pie and some veggies and fruit and yarn for the blanket I am working on. I went to JcPenney and bought 3 pairs of jeans for $13.59 It was crazy, that was a once in a lifetime deal for JcPenney. After that I bought a watermelon for a $1 from the Amish and then I went to the Flea Market. I bought this wicked awesome dress for only $20 and it is totally modest!!!!
Well I came home and jumped on the scale. I thought I must have gained a million pounds over the weekend but I found to my utter delight that I had dropped below what I was hoping to be. Then I swam and jumped on the trampoline. Jon wanted to back out and hit up the sales at JcPenney and so I took him there. I ended up buying an SD card for my phone and went home.
I did some cleaning, laundry, hair curling, nail painting. At midnight I made my pies and didn't eat anything along the way. I have been a master of temptation recently. No one would believe how disciplined I have become. This summer has been good for me. A lot of good habits created. Clean room, clean car, updated blog, lots of pictures, learning to follow driving directions, becoming independent, dieting, and exercising. Its been ama
zing.Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Dieting
Ugh my life is a neverending diet. I don't think it will ever come to a close and I don't think it should anyway. There are upsides to dieting and exercise--I'm sure there are--but I haven't seen a lot.
Of course this could be because I am not an affective dieter. There are some kinks that I really need and am trying to work out before I go back to school. I was hoping to be a lot slimmer when I went back to school but the only thing different about me is some new muscles, new goals, slightly different perspective and a totally different diet.
Its hard. A lot of times I fall prey to the temptation of all the food around me. One of the reasons I am excited to go back to school is that I won't have to dread when my sister bakes something irresistible or when the family has an ice cream bash or theres left over food in the fridge. Nope. I am in control at school. Its me, myself and I. I won't be buying any junk food this semester. What a happy day it shall be for me.
I am excited to finally work out and lose some real weight. When I come home at Christmas no one will recognize me. I only buy oatmeal and salad fixings right now and I will when I go back to school--that will be a site to see, me eating salad everyday. I also have Crystal light and a bag of suckers for when I get extreme sugar cravings. Ugh to be skinny again. I'm just ten pounds away from it but its a hard, difficult kinda ten pounds. Its the ten pounds that just won't let go. Its the ten pounds that holds onto all the obvious places, all the places I don't want or need the fat.
But once I take it off people had better watch out. Because not only will I be skinny, like I was last year--oh if only I could go back in time--but I will be fit and muscular. I will be able to take any guy out with just one punch.....one look ;)
Of course this could be because I am not an affective dieter. There are some kinks that I really need and am trying to work out before I go back to school. I was hoping to be a lot slimmer when I went back to school but the only thing different about me is some new muscles, new goals, slightly different perspective and a totally different diet.
Its hard. A lot of times I fall prey to the temptation of all the food around me. One of the reasons I am excited to go back to school is that I won't have to dread when my sister bakes something irresistible or when the family has an ice cream bash or theres left over food in the fridge. Nope. I am in control at school. Its me, myself and I. I won't be buying any junk food this semester. What a happy day it shall be for me.
I am excited to finally work out and lose some real weight. When I come home at Christmas no one will recognize me. I only buy oatmeal and salad fixings right now and I will when I go back to school--that will be a site to see, me eating salad everyday. I also have Crystal light and a bag of suckers for when I get extreme sugar cravings. Ugh to be skinny again. I'm just ten pounds away from it but its a hard, difficult kinda ten pounds. Its the ten pounds that just won't let go. Its the ten pounds that holds onto all the obvious places, all the places I don't want or need the fat.
But once I take it off people had better watch out. Because not only will I be skinny, like I was last year--oh if only I could go back in time--but I will be fit and muscular. I will be able to take any guy out with just one punch.....one look ;)
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