You can't buy love, looks don't matter, they'll love you for your personality.....why don't I believe this? I think it would be best if I were to drop all my good works, my happiness, my job, my friends, my family, my religion and marry myself a "sugar daddy".

From there I would poison him--first making sure that I am in his will--and then get some amazing plastic surgery, a tummy tuck and personal trainer. Wouldn't that turn things around? Being wordly is great right? Finally someone would be attracted to me, someone--if not lots of someones--would "love me", hold me......use me.

Looks don't matter. Its how you hold yourself, how you feel about yourself. What are you doing to improve your life? Better yet, what are you doing to improve someone else's life? It seems to me that too much focus is placed on how we can make life interesting for ourselves. I am guilty of this. I sometimes spend too much time in front of the television watching soap operas and reality shows--just kidding, I don't watch either--or on the computer surfing the web....helping myself instead of someone else.

Those of you who are seaching for love, stop! Love will find you. I know its hard to believe that but I stopped searching and look what....oh wait I can't say that yet but soon I will be able to. Right now I am trying to get something from life, keeping busy, serving those around me and trying to learn as much as possible. I was a little "Love" bitter for a while and I was also searching for something I didn't need and wasn't deserving of. I have now made it a goal in life to just simply love others and look forward to the day when someone will....hopefully....love me.

Just another weekend.....or was it?

Another day, another weekend, another week and here I am being the diligent blogger that I am. So I had a slightly interesting weekend if not amazing. I've adjusted to home life and the routines and regular annoyances have become part of my life.
Friday was the most uneventful, but very relaxing, day. I drove an hour to work and then drove an hour home in the sticky humidity of Southern Maryland--that I love very much--without AC. I came home and played tennis, swam, weightlifted and watched "Spies Like Us" and fell asleep reading. I love relaxing days where nothing special or unique happens but you still manage to have fun.

I didn't get any naps or lazy days this weekend, not even a Sunday nap. Saturday I woke up and drove an hour to Point Lookout with my brother.

Point Lookout is a very historic place on the east coast and is also one of the most haunted places in the United States. During the Civil War over 52,000 confederate soldiers were imprisoned there. The actual Light house was rumored to have kept people in there against their will during the Civil War, which explains the rumors of it being haunted.

Anyway I went for the Flag Rasing Ceremony;An American flag hasn't been flown there since 1966 and they raised the first Maryland flag there that day too--so in a way I saw history in the making. I spent my time interviewing and being given a very detailed tour while at the lighthouse. I actually was allowed to walk through the Wharf which is a restricted area right now because the floors are rotted and birds are nesting in there.

I also spent some time "rubbing elbows" with Senator Dyson who was present for the ceremony and tour. To make things even more interesting I saw the Stake President visiting the lighthouse on my way out and was given a lift to my car by a great group of retired people who volunteer all over fixing up lighthouses.

Well after that I went home and did some swimming and weight lifting and then left to go babysit until late that night. The kids are really cute. Beccas(7), Elli(4) and Julia(18months) are good kids and they are fun to play with. I rocked Julia to sleep and then I read to the girls. Being there made me wonder what it will be like when I am a mother. What will it be like to have someone call me Mom and to cry for me, Mom?

Today in Sacrament meeting the Bishop challenged us to work as a family to read Matthwe, Mark, Luke and John before Christmas and so have another great project to work on. Today I taught in Primary. My class was a little crazy but we did our best to have a good lesson and then I went home. Not much else happened. We threw a "no body" birthday party to mess with my Mom's head. You should have seen her face when she walked in the kitchen and we started singing happy birthday. It was altogether a good weekend :)

Shortness

I need to make these blog posts shorter and fewer in between. So here is a short one for you.

Its Friday, I am at work and I am ready to go home. This weekend doesn't seem all that promising. I am doing nothing this evening. Tomorrow I am going to Point Lookout to do a story for the newspaper and then I am babysitting that evening.

So here is a nice and short blog, just for all those people out there who like to 'skim'.

This is my life

I have been falling behind on this whole blog thing. The reason is mostly because I am grammatically shy. I have this fear that everyone will read my blog and judge me by my grammar errors...please don't. If you notice any glaring errors and feel a need to tell me, then tell me in person. If you are a hot, single male and you notice any glaring errors PLEASE tell me in person and then proceed to give me your phone number. If you are middle aged--or older--single and have a big bank account then PLEASE leave me a message with your name and social security number. If you're thinking of hiring me for a job then don't judge this blog, there are worse things that I could be doing--like eating fried worms or hitting policemen.

Anyway onto more interesting things--not the weather and not my latest fling and DEFINITELY not Michael Jackson--lets see what have I done with my life recently? I think I left most of it in a garbage somewhere but the other small part of it has been used quite nicely, I think. I am happy to say that I am officially an athletic person. Yes, I have moved beyond the couch and into the backyard--but wait there is more to come. I swim, play tennis, skate, jump on the trampoline--and everyone hold your breath--weight lift. Yes I feel a little lame when I am sitting in front of the television lifting weights but I could be sitting in front of the television scratching my newly toned rump or shoving candy bars down my throat--mmmmm candy bars.

I spend a couple hours a day working out, which pretty much puts a damper on all the other things I have been doing. I work three days a week at a Doctors office. I won't get into any specifics because you don't want to know what kinda doctors office it is. Its not too bad but I do get bored quite often and thats when I start writing this garbage about my "life".

I also do a lot of babysitting, which is so exciting for a 19-year-old woman who wants to be back at college, or do I? Anyway so exercising has become a big part of my life and babysitting. I actually get paid to babysit on my days off. Of course I also babysit for free for my own family but that is nothing new and at least they feed me and put a roof over my head.

The summer has been slightly exciting but it has mostly been riddled with long moments of boredom and repetative thoughts. Though repetative my thoughts have also waxed quite reflective when it comes to matters of spirituality and the human mind. I don't know if I like the philosophical side of me because once I start thinking philosophically things start to get broader and broader and then I literally get lost in my own thoughts, which is what I am doing now.

So highlights of the summer. I went with my grandparents to the ocean for a week and after a week with me they literally--no joke--dumped me out of their car and didn't say goodbye or say anything. I saw "Chicago" live in concert and they performed one of my favorite songs "Hard to say I'm sorry." I took my brother out to dinner for his birthday and I was involved in my fifth, and hopefully my last, car accident. I went to girls camp for a week, which was totally awesome. I played in the nursery for a month or two until they gave me a calling in primary, which I love! I'm sure there is a lot more I could say and a lot more that has happened but I will save that for another time and save you from having to read all of this, if you even made it this far.

Kiawah Island (Day 1)

So this is my second "official blog" the other posts were columns or stories that I had done for classes or the newspaper. We traveled today from Sentee, South Carolina to Kiawah Island, which is right by Charleston. The drive through Kiawah was breath taking and it became even better as we went further in. I know everyone says that "words can't describe" but words really can't truly describe the atmosphere of this place it's surreal that is the best word I can find to explain this place. Its more than just a little get away, its a little taste of Heaven. The Condo is very tastefully furnished--actually more than just tastefully furnished. This is the nicest place I have ever stayed in. I have my own room, a beautifully furnished room, and my own bathroom. There are cathedral ceilings that make it open and spacious and the coloring is very open and enlivening with simple browns and greens. The patio, deck, porch--whatever you call it-- gives you a direct view of the ocean. I can barely breathe every time I step out that door. The sound of the ocean steals my breath away. The storm that greeted us seemed to make it even better as it tossed the tide back and created pandemonium in the ocean. The lightening striking over the water and the torrential downpour that beat the earth and the roof of the condo built upon the excitement I had already begun to feel.
After unpacking and settling in and after the storm we walked for an hour on the beach. It was empty, it was beautiful and it was--as I said before--absolutely breathtaking. The storm left the sand wet and so each picture of us showed our reflections in the sand. The red that Marty wore with her happy-go-lucky umbrella made for the cutest and happiest pictures. When we were walking back I even saw a pelican diving in the water and after we hosed our sandy feet off, eight huge pelicans flew over our heads. Sadly I didn't have my camera but it was a indescribable feeling being there and seeing them fly above me.
We went swimming in a heated salt water pool and I learned how to do real laps. Swimming felt great, it was so nice to have a pool to jump in. I couldn't stop stretching because it was so relaxing and seemed to zap all the stress and angst my muscles had built up from the long two day car ride.
Then I played a little in the ocean; letting the water lap at my thighs and push me back with its ever surprising force. That is the beauty of the ocean. Its so uncontrolled, so powerful and it could easily drag me under, drag me away, drag me into its mysterious depths.
So now I am winding after a sumptuous dinner in our superb condo. What a day it has been!

Restarting

I haven't been a very valiant writer on my blog--not like anyone reads it anyway--but someday I will want something digital to look at so I am going to start by just talking about my life and my thoughts and go from there--if you can go anywhere from there. I was given the opportunity to do a lot of pondering while I sat in a car for seven hours making the trek from my home in Maryland to South Carolina.
Yes I do have more than one home but none that I actually own. I am going to school at BYU-Idaho and I now count that as home, even though I wouldn't have two years ago.
I am not sure how I feel about everyone reading about my life. I mean everyone is entitled to their secrets but doesn't blogging kinda give away a lot of those secrets. Everyone likes a mystery, so aren't we giving ourselves away by having a blog?
Anyway I am sitting at The Hampton Inn at this very moment, in a king size bedroom that is all my own. It would probably be better if there were someone here with me, someone to share the beauty with--namely a male that is not related to me, handsome and around my age...hmmm thats not happening.
Yep so 7 hours in the car...7 hours crammed into the back of a car, oh joy. It wasn't too bad. I managed to take a nap on my suitcase and do some dancing--oh wait forget the dancing I think that was part of my dream while I was sleeping on my suitcase. I did spend 3 hours of the trip texting. No, I am not a texting maniac I just enjoy keeping in touch with people and I was in a car for...let me think...7 hours! I also had some very interesting thoughts along the way that I may put on this blog sometime this week(if I feel that motivated...not likely). Of course I won't share the majority of those thoughts because they are MINE and you wouldn't be interested or would you ? :D
Maybe I will write about my job and the nursery(church). Who knows, now that I plan to actually post on this regularly I may write about EVERYTHING in my life--including my past as a prostitute and axe murderer--I am only kidding. (Mom, put down the phone) As Audrey Hepburn would say in "My Fair Lady" "I'm a good girl I am!"--

Prettywoman meet a Jackal

“Pretty woman walkin down the street
Pretty woman, the kind I like to meet”

My theme song is Pretty woman (not because I am vain just look at my name and you will understand) and recently I have put a little twist on the song. I have come up with this divine plan of how to find my "true love" but so far all it has only gotten me in trouble. 


The plan is this; With no definite time frame in mind I plan to meet my future husband by a good old fashioned trip and fall. Yes that is right my love story will consist of me "tripping" over my future husband.


I have been working on this plan and of course it has had its failures and shortcomings. But I always follow through with my plans and lately I have taken to throwing myself into the pathway of men. For the first incident I came out with some broken ribs because I tried it on the stairs, which is not a good idea.


The second time; however, I came out with a slightly wounded heart and a deep resentment for a certain man. Now of course during this random tossing of myself into men it hasn’t quite been so random.


I mean I don’t toss myself into any mans pathway. I have successfully avoided any men resembling Frankenstein, Dracula or Mr. Hyde but unfortunately my second incident (the one where he tried unsuccessfully to bring me fully to my knees but did steal a little piece of my heart) threw me into the arms of Dr. Jekyll.

From what I had first found out about him he seemed like a good guy but if he was as good as I thought then he should have been married not in his mid-twenties and single. He's a hard worker and from what I had experienced he had a good sense of humor and he was a real ladies man.


But I can at least say --and with a happy smile-- that I didn’t trip the first time I met him. I actually didn’t think much of him and it wasn’t until I kept eye tripping over him all over campus that I decided to take some action and assist what I thought was fate.


What a mistake that was. My Dr. Jekyll was one heck of a jackal as it came to turn out. Let me define jackal for you, “Any one of several species of carnivorous animals inhabiting Africa and Asia, related to the dog and wolf. They are cowardly, nocturnal, and gregarious. They feed largely on carrion, and are noted for their piercing and dismal howling.”


He came on quick and I accepted that thinking it was normal but then things became all too clear and I realized, slowly but surely, just what he was a jackal. What a coward he turned out to be. He told me he was interested but there was no effort made. He truly matched the definition of jackal: he worked in groups of what I like to call jerks and he was nocturnal, only talking to me after midnight and of course he was too much of a coward to be honest.


What a jackal and soon that jackal became the heartless and brutal killer Mr.Hyde. I saw him for what he was a deformed monster. So instead of tripping over Mister Right, Prince Charming, or Batman I ran into a walking contradiction, a coward, sniveling sneak! I hope that the jackal someday realizes what he missed out on. Then he can start up on his piercing and dismal howling because this Pretty woman doesn’t plan to “stop a while, take a while, give a my smile, look his way, stay with him” or do any tripping in his direction ever again. And so next time you decide to ‘trip’ over a guy make sure you do the research first