If you only knew

He kissed me once, asked me what I was thinking and all I could say way, "if you only knew." Typically this isn't what I say after a first kiss. It's not what I would say anytime after someone kissed me but the phrase, "if you only knew," haunts me with every turn I make.

It's not like I know a lot but...well...if you only knew. My friend got engaged to my ex and all I could think was, "if only you knew." If she only knew what a mean, angry person he was. If only people knew how I really felt. If only I knew how I really felt. The phrase, "if only you knew," plays a strong roll in the most painful parts of my life.

When I think of the think of the things I've lost, the things I've felt and the things I've seen and someone asks me why I'm upset. All I can say is, "if only you knew." If they only knew how I felt when I heard her moaning in the other car, when I saw my sister bleeding and crying. If they only knew how I felt while I sat in the ambulance. If they only knew how I felt when he died. If they only knew how I felt when I couldn't love him. No one knows how you feel, no one can tell you how you feel. We can guess, we can sympathize and maybe empathize a little.

When someone seems heartless, or they don't respond the way you would like to your emotions then try to tell them how you feel. We get so offended when others don't understand how we feel but how can they understand when they have never felt that way? "If you only knew," but you'll never know. Only God and you can know. Don't expect others to fully understand but give them a chance to try and grasp how you feel. If you only knew how I felt, let me try and tell you.