I've recently become a very, very hungry college student. I used to say no to free food offers (FFO) But with the reality of college ending and my debt forever increasing, I've become extremely. . .desperate for food. You would cringe if you knew what I've eaten lately and I'm sure I will cringe someday too.
Because of the lack of food in my life I now feel that it is a requirement for a man to feed his date, his woman, his lover, his wife. Any chick involved in a man's life, any chick that reaches outside the friend term should be fed.
If you ask me on a date, then you had better plan on feeding me. That had better be the first thing we do, since it will probably be my first meal that day. As a matter of fact, if you ask me on a date then you had better greet me at the door with a meal in your hands (in your arms would be even better cause that means theres more)--preferably a hamburger or Teriyaki Express or something that will feed me the next day too.
Forget being a gentleman, forget planning a date, forget it all but DON'T forget the food. Girls deserve to be fed. If I'm going to get dressed up, play put-put, walk around the park, or be chased around in the dark while you are pointing a laser tag gun at me then you had best be feeding me too.
I don't care if your parents disowned you and you're on your own. I don't care if you donate plasma every week because you are so poor. If you take a girl on a date then find a way to FEED her.
Girls, don't let him get by without feeding you. If he doesn't feed you then he doesn't get a second date.
I don't care if you forget to open the door, forget to seat me properly, forget to be a gentleman, forget to even wear your pants. I don't care if you try and make a move on me, I don't care if you smell like garbage. If you feed me a great dinner then I'll make sure we have a good time.
So, FEED ME!
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