I want to have SEX. You want to have SEX. We all want to have SEX, SEX SEX, SEX, SEX. But we can't. Single people shouldn't and so we--the single people--won't. So what do we do? We sublimate. I'm sublimating right now. Candy. Ice cream. McDonalds.
I'm eating because I want to have SEX. I hope this ruins your image of me. Every time you see me eating you're now going to think I want to have SEX. This is not entirely true. Sometimes I eat because my tummy demands it or because there's nothing better to do or because its FREE. But I often eat because I'm sublimating, no lies. We all have to have our weaknesses we give into, right? I'm not giving into the SEX weakness, instead I am eating bread with chocolate frosting smeared all over it--my food supply is currently low.
I'm not a gluttonous pig, I'm just filling in that gap of my life that I refuse to fill right now. The gap where I don't get to have SEX. Yep. I won't lie. I want it. But really, what hormonal young person doesn't want SEX?
I don't even know if I want companionship, or a boyfriend or marriage anytime soon. All I know is that I want SEX. Thats one thing I know I want now. But will I get it? No. I've had tons of opportunities. I mean, how many single guys will turn down a chick offering him her bed for some good SEX?
But I'm not ever going to do that. I'm going to wait. I'm going to wait a long, long time. There will be no SEX for me till there is a jewel the size of my knuckle on my ring finger and a certificate tucked away somewhere--not a marriage certificate, just one that says the ring is a real diamond.
But really. I screw up. I don't have SEX but I screw up. I mess up. But its not worth it? While I really want to have SEX, and while my occasional food binges in place of SEX have caused my hips to widen more than I'd like, it is still so worth waiting for.
So, I say keep sublimating. Maybe not in the hoho or that twinkie you are currently shoving down that hole you call a mouth but maybe in some hard core exercising or a good book. Or maybe you could sit and write a blog post about SEX, like I am.
SEX will be great, no doubt, but it can wait. In the meanwhile, I am going to go eat some junk food.
You are very open in your blog, but this line, "But really. I screw up. I don't have SEX but I screw up. I mess up," is one of the most interesting of all.
ReplyDeleteYou wouldn't dare say I know but I would LOVE to know how you define "screwing up." I wonder how guilty you feel and over what and how it challenges your self worth. And, good Mormon girls are famous for being excited for sex, getting married and then still feeling guilty and inhibited.
Sad.
Good luck.