Deleting the undeletable

I see him, he sees me but neither of us knows that we're looking at the other. And I see the girl he's with, she's beautiful. I can't help but wonder "How dare he move on?" But then again, the man I'm pictured with is a hottie and so maybe he's thinking the same. But, wait, why does it matter? Why aren't we moving on?

Where am I viewing these pictures of my ex-boyfriend and his current lover? Facebook. Apparently Facebook jealousy is an issue. Funny how this social network can have such extreme effects on some and not others. Psychology Today, PsychCentral, Discovery News, MSNBC and other websites all referenced the increase in Facebook jealousy.

Of course their citation was mostly in regards to relationships. I have given into those kind of jealous moments while on Facebook but thats not my problem. I, occasionally, give into a little Facebook jealousy, a little Facebook resentment.

I see that my best friend is happily married, I see that an old friends is an amazing photographer, I see so many wonderful things about people and I find myself resenting them.

Mine really isn't about my relationship or ex-boyfriends though. I find myself resenting people for their happiness and I wonder why I've suddenly become like this.

Tell me, what is Facebook?

For so many people its a great way to build networks, make connections with people, plan events, and market. When I say market, I mean market yourself.

Why do we post pictures? Why do we tell everyone what we ate for breakfast? Why do I need to show everyone a picture every time I so much as scratch my butt. We love attention. Actually, we love positive attention. I find myself thinking that Facebook is a way of getting attention, making sure people don't forget us. And after a while that need to be seen, it transforms It becomes more than just a way to share your life with others. It becomes a means for people to resent us, to be jealous and we find ourselves liking the idea of that.

I admit. I've succumbed. I look at people's talents, people's accomplishments, people's smiling photos and I can't help but wish I had what they had and then I can't help but hate them--only a tinny, tiny little bit--for having what I can't.

I sit here and I strongly consider deleting this social network but not just because I'm turning into a embittered woman. But I won't delete it. I'm just restricting myself from getting on it, ever. I'll simply use email to check messages and such.

Its time consuming, it gives me the ability to stalk people that I don't need to be stalking. WASTE. I feel that its a waste. In my opinion it fosters hate, prevent healing from a relationship.

For many, its not a problem. But for others, it is. I've avoided deleting it because I don't want to lose contact with people but ... alas ... I think I will do away with this networking system that has nurtured the beast in me.

If those people want to get in contact with me, they will find a way and I will do the same.

That is all.

kprettywoman@yahoo.com